As a year ends, a rush of media programs will comment on political events, sports, celebrity romances and break-ups – a general summing up of the year. But we often forget to review our personal and family life that way, focusing instead on “spot” goals like “losing weight”, “getting fit” says Dr Frank Farley, professor of Educational Psychology at Temple University, Philadelphia.
“In so many fields we take stock, we take inventory, we take a pulse at the end of the year,” he says. “Sports commentators are going to be reviewing the year in sports and pundits will be doing the same for politics.
“Even businesses do an end of the year inventory and balancing of the books. But we are not so good at doing that about ourselves, reflecting and assessing how we’ve done this past year.
“I don’t think it is trivial this time of year to take psychological stock or personal stock of ourselves, and try to decide, ‘Okay, I’m going to work on this, I’m going to do that,’” he says. “The taking stock, whether you make resolutions or not, is very helpful at the end of the year and the end of the decade as we are now.”
In a time of uncertainty, this can help people plan how to will deal with whatever the year might bring.“What will [the new year] bring; how shall we proceed as a nation, and individually? Planning and knowledge are important antidotes to uncertainty and fear.”
Tips for Making New Year Resolutions
Dr Farley offers three basic tips for successful NYE resolutions:
- Make a list – Keep it to absolutely essential things that you must deal with in the coming year.
- Use the list to focus – Making a list will give you more focus and direction in how you can concentrate on those items you wish to deal with.
- Tell other people – Once you have made your list of things to do or resolutions, share them with family or friends as a support system for seeing your resolutions through.
“There is often a flip, glib or impulsive quality to some of the resolutions we come up with at New Year’s and they are often going nowhere,” he comments. “But having family, friends or professionals help with your resolutions is going to have more impact than just a personal resolution that you keep to yourself or mention in passing.”
Families Should Also Make Resolutions
Dr Farley is backed by another mental health professional, Dr. Samuel Gladding, specialist in family counseling and chair of the Department of Counseling at Wake Forest University, North Carolina.
Dr Gladding, who has written several books on family and group counselling, suggests families should get together to plan the year ahead and set communal goals.
“Like merchants, families should take inventory,” he says. ““Family resolutions can be fun and fulfilling in that they help you as a family see the year ahead.
“Making resolutions encourages families to be proactive rather than reactive. Many families get up in comfortable routines, but sometimes they’re not growth-promoting.”
A January 1 Family Meeting to Set Common Goals
Dr Gladding suggests regular family meetings throughout the year to talk together, and says January 1 is a good time to start the tradition. He offers tips on how to have a successful family council:
- Set priorities: Are certain things building up in terms of frustrations or are family members involved in too many activities that aren’t meaningful? If so, address those at the start of the year and revisit them if needed during the year.
- Establish goals: Use the family meeting to set goals such as eating dinner together more frequently or setting aside more time for favorite family. This is a good opportunity to decide what activities are most important and figure out how to work more of them in.
- Put it on the calendar: Marking some things on the calendar is a good idea. Families can look at the calendar and put things in place that are traditions, such as marking off a week for a vacation at a favorite beach.
Don’t Forget Finances When Setting Goals for a New Year
As well as setting personal and family goals during the run-up to January1, consumer behavior expert, Dr. James Roberts, professor of Entrepreneurship at Baylor University, Waco, Texas, suggests people resolve to get in good financial shape in the coming year.
In particular he advises people to focus on four savings goals in the new year:
- Establish an emergency fund ($2,500)
- Save 3 to 6 months expenses
- Contribute to your retirement account
- Start your kid’s college fund
He also suggests resolving to cut out the use of credit cards. “This involves creating an environment that makes it easier to not spend money, such as avoiding the malls, shopping without credit cards and only with cash, using a 24-hour cooling off period for big purchases and paying yourself first to help you attain the four savings goals.”
While Dr Roberts’ comments are aimed specifically at Americans, Australians have been advised that their personal debt levels are the highest they’ve been in more than 20 years, and people should try to reduce consumer spending and practice saving and thrift.
You might also be interested in How to Make Complex Decisions.
Sue Cartledge - I'm a science, health, nutrition and lifestyle journalist, fascinated by the way the physical world operates in all its forms, and how ...
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